Tag Archives: CC cornell goodbye

Goodbye, girl (5)

Summer was always good times to hang out with our graduate buddies, especially when the mission now is to connect the two social circles that we built separately in our first year. I guess we both somehow had this emotional attachments to the group of friends we knew when we first came to the States. They are the core part of our friend circle here at Cornell, much closer than other aquaintances. She has heard so much about my friends and I have heard so much about her friends before the two friend circle got arossed. So it’s actually a pretty interesting scenario when we meet in person, people you have “known” for quite a bit.

Chen was not quite good at cooking, i have to say. She was slow in preparing the food, and always afraid the oil’s gonna spill on her LOL. Like everything else she does, she slowly picks on things, very slow, then she masters in it. Me, on the other hand, were always this brave and brutal girl in cooking, that I chopped meat like vegetables and always wanted bigger and bigger fire to quickly heat the food. I remember cooking bittern pig feet before her group of friends’ visit. That was literally in the middle night, and we need to chop this big chunk of pig feet that we bought in the super market earlier. I had this bigger knief that I bought with me so I took the lead, and started chopping it very forcibly… it was not easy at all and it caused A LOT of noise… not sure if we disturbed other neighbours or not (i am sure we did), but that was the moment, I really really wanted to do something for her friends, and eventually for her, like what she did when I invited my friends, when we prepared food and cooked straight for almost 3 hours. We tried hard to become real friends, by syncing our social circles together, which lead to the consequence that we had way more things to talk about (our chit chat’s always around these mutual friends that we had 🙂 ), and we got to spend our leisure time together hanging out with these friends. Now, our friends.

Ha~ not sure if this place’s still look the same now 😛

Our coffee machine and blender!

She’s on the left and I am on the right 😀

Summer’s never gonna stay still. It slipped away sooner before we students could get a grasp on it. So here came the new semester. We both were occupied by our TA/RA duty, but we tried hard to not be like those roommates who rarely see each other and always have to guess whether he/she’s at home, even if they live under the same roof. Yeah, a lot of roommates that I know of are like that… I would always shouted out her name when I arrived home, and she did the same. We tried to talk whenever we had time and both of us were OK to be disturbed, during cooking, eating, late night when we both got back from the school, on the bus, etc. about things we experienced, saw, or merely just felt or even guessed, sometimes even about our wierd dreams, which are not reality at all. The topic got deeper and deeper along with the time. I really believe that all stable relationships, no matter how noble it seems to be, have to be built on this little sneaky things. They are secrets that you would never share with other people (including your family, your boyfriend or girlfriend), it could be something/some people you really hate in life, or it could be some non-sense that you thought it would make you sound really silly when you say it, but with this very person, like me and Chen, it doesn’t matter, we are not afraid to be judged by each other, so we could literally say and share anything we want. I am glad that I have an outlet like this, cause really, even though I believe that keeping certain things away from certain people is one of the skills we need to have in general social interactions,  that’s not pure human nature, at least not mine. I’d like to be straightforward with people, be honest with them, but that’s not how I was taught to survice in this grown-up world. So in my life, I desperately need someone to be able to hear and understand us from every aspect, someone we could disclose to without any hesitation. I am so glad that I found Chen, someone I can talk to and not afraid of the fact that she’s carrying all my secrets around 😛

Goodbye, girl (4)

I know how boring this sentence sounds, but really, how time flies. While I am sitting here (in a plane to San Francisco)  recalling my apartment in Cornell, I am about to see my new apartment in San Mateo in less than 5 hrs!

The aparment in Maplewood was my home, but you know how the sense ownership gets divided by the number of people who live in it. Like I never would have thought of buying a frame to hang our photos in the living room, getting standing lamps to light up the place, buying a clock and all other funny/silly, necessary/unnecessary, cute/ugly decrorations Chen and I did for our living room.

If there’s one thing we had in common, that must be the passion and pursuit we had for a better and more enjoyable life. I always found myself to be too easy-going during most of the time. Easy-going in this context means I am probably too subjected to the influence brought by people surround me. If there’s someone who has deeply influenced me in the past year, then she must be the one. She happened to have this lighter that lighted my desire to do these silly little things to prove our existence in this place. I remember we spent a couple late nights in Walmart, Kohls and Wegmens looking for random things we imagined a perfect apartment should have. Coming back home and spent more time in figuring out how to fit those things in with our rooms (Gosh, I miss those hours we spent together putting up the artistic shaped clock she found in Kohls, printing, cutting and pinning all those silly photos into the frame, etc.) All these motivations and passions to life she gave me, which back then I always found a bit costy, now all becomes these precious memories that I had with her, and with my one year in Hasbrouck. Loved couples need to live together, which I now understand. Cause life just uses its invisible and invinsible power to tie you two together in so many different ways, so that it could actually hurt you when one of them has to leave at some point.

Goodbye, girl (3)

Our conversation got deeper in our “first night together.” I had to catch an early morning bus in baker flag pole, and she let me stay in her place which was within walkin distance to the bus stop. I guess i talked too much over the dinner (since I learned later on that the only thing she was really into was eating during meals). We chatted for like 3 hrs, childhood, boyfriends, parents, grand parents, her summer travel plan and the fact that she would be soon running out of money. I don’t think we enjoyed spending time together because we found so many things in common, instead, we were sharing our own stories, different stories which reflects our different experience and perspectives on life.

Even though only with a sleeping bag on the ground, I slept quite well in her place, not only because i started to like this girl, but also I didn’t notice her snoozing at all (i guess i would rethink the idea letting her be my roommate if I knew that earlier, muhaha).

“How about looking for an apartment together?” I was the person who bought up the idea, and she responded really quick “yes.”

I don’t think either of us realized how much commitment we bought into this when we agreed to look for an apartment together.  People started to grow more and more into their own particular shape, or in other words, more nad more stubborn when they grow old, especially among people like us, oversea Chinese graduate students with a big ego whether we admit it or not. Being friends, hanging out once in a while might be easy, but living under a same roof might be difficult. I’ve seen too many friends who ended up not really talking to each other that much when they become roommates.

Nevertheless, we bravely did it. She wanted save money, and I wanted a bigger bedroom. That’s it. We just clicked.

Goodbye, girl (2)

First winter I spent in Cornell, I had this chorus concert performance coming up in Sage Chapel. I remember getting at least 10 tickets from the chorus manager and I was so sure a lot of people would be interested in going. However, it turned out, not too many people wanted to spare the effort walking uphill for 20 minutes and spending two hours watching/listening to a group of girls wearing black dresses (the kind that covers everything and you don’t even get a chance to know how their feet look like). Growing up, things like this just keep coming, they crash down your hopes, lower your expectations, make you become a “stronger” person,  and thus live a happier life.

But she was one of them, people who once in a while give you that kind of hope, even though that might not be a lot, it’ll still make you believe someone’s out there supporting you. She bought one ticket from me. That was the second or the third time we actually met individually on campus, in front of the engineering library.

It was raining as hell on that day of the concert. A lot of people changed their mind, but I knew she was there. I was so busy changing after the performance, didn’t even get a chance to say hi.

Are you, somewhere out there in the audience? 😛

A month later was my birthday. Like my dad, I was so into this big group gathering thing (which always ends up as a mess with too many people and too little space). As I recall it, the “blast” birthday party involved too much food, drinking and too many dishes to wash. Honestly, I don’t think we were that close back then, but she seriously came in two hours earlier to help me set up things. Compared to the chaos later that night, that was probably the best two hours I had on my 23rd birthday, preparing food and casually chatting with her. We started to talk about our relationships and our boyfriends, which was like a big step forward in girls’ friendship (or if you call it a relationship LOL).

Goodbye, girl (1)

i thought i’d have a less dramatic leaving from the east coast, but all of a sudden, the sunny NYC started to rain. Hopefully it’ll not be too heavy so I can get to Memphis in time for my next flight.

This summer has finally come to an end and it was both short and long, in some way.

It was short, like any other summer vacations that I had in my life as being a student, especially a grad student. Every day just repeats itself, you go to your office, do (or at least pretend doing) some kind of work, and then dinner, movie and other leisure stuff for the night, and then comes the more relaxing weekends, trying out new restaurants in Ithaca until we actually run out of our options, and then we pick our favourite ones and try them all again…

Long in a way that I actually had a whole summer to say goodbye to my Ithaca, Cornell and all those dear dear Cornellians that I have acquainted, friended and shared great memories with.  When you started count down your days in this place and this kind of life style, suddenly everything you did seemed to be more precious, cause there might not be a next time.

So many things are like this, things that I’ll probably never get a chance to experience once again in my life. Things like, having a roommate that I were so close to.

Chen’s definitely this “tiny little” thing that I’ll miss when I start my life in California (especially when I’ll be sharing a house with two other male roommates with whom I doubt if we’ll ever have conversations…). Chen and I were different, in a lot of ways, preference to food, life style, clothes, and yeah, men LOL

I remember first seeing her in Beijing airport, when I was busy taking out things from my check-in luggage, just to avoid paying the extra check-in fee, and she was there with her parents, wearing a “manly” T-shirt , like she always does. Yeah, we could say we were flying together from Beijing to the States, except for there was an aisle between our seats, and I was reading and chatting with my friends all the way while she was sleeping straight for … i bet more than 10 hrs!

Arriving in Ithaca, we both started our explorations to this new country on our own. While I have my little Peggy and Wendy, she had her crazy Geology buddies that she could hang out with. We were not close, both geographically (she lived in Stewart ave and I lived in maple) and academically (she studys rocks, well…  i guess i can say i study everything except for rocks… ), but somehow when I think of female Chinese friend in Cornell, she’s always the first one pops out in my mind, even though I barely knew this “crazy” girl back then.

Do you still remember when and where this was?

And this is the first photo we’ve ever taken together… correct me if I am wrong, since you know that i have a bad memory 😛